Evelyn: You're a monster hunter, one of the most important questions for a nukekubi (who has never killed a human, but has slain many vampires) is this: How do you define monster?
Deacon: A monster does evil shit. Simple and straight to the point.
I used to say a monster is anything not human, but life is messy and hell, I'm not stock-from-the-factory human anymore myself. So I had to adjust my definition.
But I don't have a lot of time for moral equivocations. I can't handhold anybody through their personal trauma. If you have a troubled past, did some evil shit back in the day then you had better have pulled your head from your ass before I catch up with you.
I believe in Redemption, but it's not my job to give it out. You find that on your own time. But if you are
doing evil shit then I'll stop you.
That's my job.
How do you define what a monster is?
Evelyn: I used to let a group of vampire hunters, The Pythagoreans, make those choices for me, but that was the easy way. Not everything is black and white.
Speaking of which, a... friend... wanted me to ask "Have you ever retired a human by mistake?" I think, Greta meant it as a sarcastic Blade Runner quote, but I think it raises an interesting question. I'm sure you run into your fair share of human monsters while tracking the supernatural ones down. How do you deal with them?
Deacon: The Pythagoreans? Oh man, glad you got shed of those assholes.
Greta sounds okay if she's quoting Bladerunner.
To answer the question, I always keep in mind that I'm not a cop. I leave the fine details that need investigation to them. Let them sort it out, it's why we pay taxes. When I get involved it's usually a pretty clear scene as to who is evil and who ain't.
But if you throw in with monsters then welcome to the crosshairs.
It's like my dad used to say before he left this shitty old world "Birds of a feather get cooked in the same pot."
So I have run across the occasional sunnuvabitch that needed to be set straight. It's part of the job. Do it, move on. I don't feel bad.
So are you vampire only? Or do you take on all kinds of monsters?
Evelyn: Right now it's mainly vampires, but I've handled demons, and the occasional rogue therianthrope. I'm working something of a long term reclamation gig right now. Kind of a there's-still-good-in-her deal.
I'm not sure if you ever make an exception and do those, but worrying about whether or not I should is my own personal monster, I suppose... The one's I think I could have saved. Maybe even should have saved. That and weregeckoes. Those things just aren't right.
How about you? What is the monster that scares you the most?
Deacon: Never ran into a Were-Gecko. I had to put down a crack-dealing, child molester Were-Polar Bear though. I've cleared my town of almost all the Were-wolves and Were-Panthers. The Were-wolves were a pain in the ass. They were run by this asshole named Krueger, a white-power, wannabe viking, skinhead, piece of shit. A real turd. They used to go "recruiting" finding skinheads int he area and infecting them with lycanthropy to build their gang. They had a throwdown war with the local Black Panthers which were made of actual black Were-Panthers. That was a mess and a half.
As far as scary goes, well, that would be Angels. Those golden bastards are wicked scary. That whole "personification of the Wrath of God" thing just gets way too heavy. They didn't cover that shit in Catechism class.
As for the redemption gig, I have a good friend, hell mentor really, named Father Mulcahy who handles that end of the business. I save the bodies and leave the souls to him.
Do you have a mentor now that you are out from the Pythagoreans? Or are you flying solo?
Evelyn: I think if I told you who my mentor was, you'd want to drive into Void City and try to kill him or her, so I'll table that one.
I know the answer to this one may take us to a dark place, so feel free not to answer, but how did you wind up hunting monsters?
Deacon: My family was killed by monsters. ........
I don't want to talk about it. No offense, but we aren't there yet me and you. You seem nice, but not that damn nice.
A monster killed my family. I killed him and now I will kill everyone of them I find.
On to a different topic, I'm not coming to Void City anytime soon. I've got my hands full right now with a bloodsucking hell-bitch that set me up and tried to have me offed. I was on my way there when I got your call. Besides, after chatting you up, I think you might just work out okay.
You did realize I took this call to check you out right?
Evelyn: Fair enough. My origin isn't quite so dark, but when humans or ex-humans start hunting monsters it's usually not for the fun of it.
If it helps, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But about the call, yeah, I knew there would be a little mutual scoping out. The only reason I tracked down your number in the first place was Greta heard about you and wanted to make sure she could pick out your heartbeat from a distance... and this way we avoid her trying to find out in person. Which wouldn't go well for anyone involved and part of my job is trying to rein her in and redirect her appetites toward more appropriate targets.
Yesterday, for example was a great day for us. Instead of feeding on any humans, she drained five vampires, three bulls, and... Okay... The dog was unfortunate, but it *was* a stray...
Deacon: Watch your step Evelyn. You need to be careful or I might just come to Void City anyways. I hear there's a mustang that needs to go head to head with the Comet so that might be reason enough.
Keep your head on straight, watch who you trust, and call me if you need me.
As the phone goes dead, it's quite possible that Deacon hears Evelyn's frustrated mutter, "There, I called him and you heard his heartbeat. Now would you please put my head back on?"
For more about James and to find links to free fiction and other cool stuff, you can check out his website at jamesrtuck.com and for more about me and to check out my free fiction scoot on over to authoratlarge.com .
(Note: Cross-posted from the League of Reluctant Adults)