Ook of Us

This is me burying the lead, ignoring the need for clearly defined antecedents, and failing to avoid run on sentences.

So, to make a long story short, I originally posted a version of this song on twitter and it amused a few folks... and I added the chorus to my email signature and thought that would be that, but then a buddy provided just the right amount of impetus in an email, so I sent a touched up and more to him and... thought that would be the end of it. But then, the same buddy asked if I would please post this parody song to web, so... with tongue firmly in cheek (and with apologies to Joan Osborne)... here it is:

"Ook of Us"

By

J. F. Lewis

(Sung to the tune of Joan Osborne's "One of us")

If Grodd had a date, who would she be?
Would she go over to his place.
if he debased himself and he cooked dinner?
What would he cook if he had just one season?

And ook, ook, Grodd's an ape
ook, ook, Grodd is rude
ook, ook, ook, ook, ook

What if Grodd was one of us?
Hairless ape like one of us?
Not a super gorilla makin' a fuss
Tryin' to conquer us all?

If Grodd had a place, how would we zone it?
And would you visit there
if going meant that you would have to play nice
With old Lex Luthor and the Joker and Bizarro
the whole darn Legion? And...

Ook, ook, Grodd's an ape
Ook, ook, Grodd is rude
Ook, ook, ook, ook, ook

What if Grodd was one of us?
Hairless ape like one of us?
Not a super gorilla makin a fuss
Tryin' to conquer us all?

No superheroes had to fall?
No powers at his beck and call?
No Flash to cause a falderal?
At parties he might be a ball?

Ook, ook, Grodd's an ape
Ook, ook, Grodd is rude
Ook, ook, ook, ook, ook

What if Grodd was one of us?
Hairless ape like one of us?
Not a super gorilla makin a fuss
Tryin' to conquer us all?

No superheroes had to fall?
Nice to both the big and small?
No powers at his beck and call?
No Flash to cause a falderal?
At parties he might be a ball?

----

End note: I know. I know. What kind of a guys takes a song about God and thinks "Hey, that could just have easily been a funny song about a megalomaniac super gorilla with mental powers"? To that, my only possible defense is: Well... have you read my books?

;)

There ya go, Lou. It's up. Happy Holidays.